If someone at BCF has cut you off from your grandchildren or you are worried that you will be cut off, take heart:

A child’s parents must have good reasons to prevent grandchildren from seeing their grandparents.

If no good reasons are provided, grandparents can take some uncomplicated steps to ensure they see their grandchildren.

The laws in this area are no different from the laws that govern custody and access to children after a breakdown of a marriage or de facto relationship.

These commonsense laws focus on what’s in the best interests of the child. If it’s in the best interest of the child to see their grandparents, then that’s what will happen.

The law begins with the assumption that it is in the best interests of a child to see their Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, etc.

If the family can’t negotiate an agreement about access, then there’s one easy step you can take before resorting to the Family Court for help.

We’ve provided a step-by-step guide to this process below. We hope it’s helpful.

In other parts of this website, we raise concerns about the CFO’s practice of ostracising family and friends who’ve left the church or who don’t obey the presbytery.

We’ve called for investigations from authorities to see if this is true and to prevent such practices.

The survey on this website contains questions that deal with whether or not the CFO advocates the ostracization of grandparents and other family members who’ve either left the CFO or do not obey the directives of the Presbytery.

By completing the anonymous survey, you will be drawing attention to the practices of the CFO and giving regulators the chance to step in.

A Step-by-Step guide to seeing your Grandchildren again

1. Try to come to an agreement with the parents of your grandchildren as to when and where it is appropriate to see your grandchildren.

2. If agreement can’t be reached, the family court has low-cost (and no-cost) ways of beginning the process of gaining access to your grandchildren.

3. You will be asked to be part of an informal mediation meeting. The meeting is totally confidential, and no one can record the meeting or use what was said in any other way.

4. An impartial and non-judgemental Family Court mediator will be at the meeting to help both parties come to agreements. The meeting does not involve solicitors and is conducted in a calm and respectful manner.

5. At the meeting, the mediator will explain to the parents that they will need to give good reasons to a court as to why the grandchildren should not be allowed to see their grandchildren.

6. The parents may offer the following reasons:

• We are obeying the Presbytery, our local CFO.
• We believe the Presbytery hear from God and
• We believe we must submit to the Presbytery to be part of God’s people.
• The presbytery have told us many times what God is saying—people who
  • do not go to our Church or
  • don’t obey the Presbytery

should be cut off from their family and friends until they return and obey the Presbytery.

• We understand that we’ve caused hurt and pain by preventing our parents from seeing their grandchildren.
• But we feel we must obey the Word of God and cut them off.

7. It is not the mediator’s role to advise the parents whether those reasons are sufficient for the family court. But they will explain that if an agreement regarding access to the grandchildren cannot be reached in the mediation, the grandparents are free to ask for a hearing in the family court.

8. The mediator will explain that the parents may be called to give testimony in court and explain their reasoning. Members of the presbytery may also be called to give testimony to confirm the parents are acting on the directions of the presbytery.

9. You may wish to take advice from a solicitor as to whether the parents would be successful before a modern Australian Court of Law in such a situation.

10. If an agreement can be reached during mediation, the mediator will type up the agreement and give it to both parties. The mediator will even help organise the first few meetings with you and your Grandchildren, i.e. when, where, how long etc.

11. An estimate of the cost of the mediation meeting is approximately $0 to $2,000, and that cost is usually shared equally between the parties.

12. If both parties stick to the agreement, then there’s no need for any involvement by the Family Court. The two parties are free to stick to the agreement or modify it as they see fit.

13. However, if no agreement can be reached, the mediator will give you a certificate to say whether both parties attended, and whether both parties cooperated appropriately during the mediation.

14. Because no agreement was reached, the mediator notifies the Family Court, and you are free to engage a solicitor to help you approach the Family Court for orders for access to your grandchildren.

At the time of writing this summary of this type of family court proceedings, we can share one actual example of a grandparent using the above process to gain access to their grandchildren in recent years.

Happily, the mediation process actually led to the reestablishment of a relationship with the parents of the grandchildren in question.

The above process is called family dispute resolution. We encourage you to have at least one conversation with a solicitor before to make sure this system is available in your state.